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Idols: Invincible advice for finalists

Idols is a brilliant way to fast-track your musical career. Okay, we all know that. Once you get beyond the domain of the cat stranglers and dubious karaoke singers, you have every chance, as one of the finalists, of the being adored nationwide and winning Idols!

And here’s some (invincible) advice for finalists… now that you’re in the latter stages of the Idols show, all you have to do is perform well each week, and the competition is yours to lose. It’s pretty simple actually: everyone loves you, just don’t screw up.

For example, if you cancel your performance to stay home and watch a re-run of Cheaters, you’re toast. Votes for you will stop coming in pretty quickly.

Also, singing anything by Michael Bolton. You might get one or two corporate gigs afterwards, but the Idols voting generation will never take you seriously. Ever. Again.

On that note, two clear signs you are not going to win Idols are:

1. Your own mother keeps telling you “You’re ok. But I really like that guy with the long hair.”

2. The people backstage on Idols ask you: “Are you still here?”…

If this is the case, heed this advice: you’ll only make it worse by going on stage and trying to do a stellar rendition of Climb Every Mountain.

Remember, longevity is the key here – you don’t want Idols to be the pinnacle of your career… you want to build an invincible career on top of it. And if know that you’re going out, you also don’t wanna be remembered as one of the finalists who sang Said I Loved You But I Lied (not something your audience wants to hear) or Do Ya Think I’m Sexy? (that’s just asking for trouble).

"This is just the launch pad."

The advice of many past finalists of Idols and the advice of Idols judges all point toward the same thing: this is just the launch-pad. As one of the finalists, you’ve begun your career already.

So perhaps the best advice is to keep a sense of humour. Life is short. Good reality shows are few. Once the hype of this ridiculous show dies down, no one – except you and me – really cares anymore. That’s the reality. Can you remember who won season 3 of Idols? If so, do you know where that person is now?


So rally the Facebook likes, garner your Twitter followers, and keep a sense of fun and funny throughout this tedious process… who knows, maybe the TV network will offer you a job if you can out-stage the host… In fact, I wish someone would try. That’d make for real reality TV.

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