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February and fatherhood reflections

As we hurtle down the track of 2018 having hardly had time to stretch (it is February, people!) I am prone to pause… just briefly… and reflect on this day in (my) history…

On 10 February 2011…

Our album On The Edge was featured in Fair Lady magazine as a fairly fresh concept – “pay what you want for the album”. In it we spoke about the music and life, and I remember being quoted as saying, “Life is short, just get [your music] out there!” – and I have to look back and smile.

In January 2013…

Tam and I received a prophecy. “A new baby.” Honestly, we laughed. We had two livewires, and at that stage weren’t planning any more kids. But I remember thinking, “another baby would take REAL faith”.

On 10 February 2013…

It’s weird to think that on the exact date our third child would be born, we ventured out after church one Sunday and this was the story that I posted on Instagram, with the caption that read:

“Went to get coffee. Came home with this.”

It was the start of some new ideas, concepts and sounds which are all coming in this year’s Great Deep project.


On 10 February 2014…

Would you believe, there was a new baby. And life took on a new meaning. We welcomed Zoe Faith.

Born on a sweltering hot KwaZulu-Natal summer day, with the most jet-black hair I have ever seen in my life. It was quite uncanny, that all three Calder children, on exiting the womb, had the exact same profile and facial features as each other.

The only difference was the hair colour of the third.

Everything changed… our little family outgrew our home and we needed to find a new one. We could no longer get by on 1 car, we needed two. And my heart expanded even more.

On 10 February 2015…

I posted this:

“Happy 1st birthday Zoe Faith! Biased as I am, you are fully awesome!”

And three years later, nothing has changed.

I’ve changed my view of the world as each of my children have entered into our lives.

For one, I think having kids definitely cures you of any OCD tendencies. I mean, Lego pieces will always find their way under your bare foot; you will need a vacuum cleaner with a 15-year guarantee; and always remember that your newly-painted house is merely a canvass for Picasso-style impressions with crayons and food.

Secondly, I’ve realised how much the world needs a Father’s voice.

Before children, I wasn’t as aware of its need. But seeing the challenges our world faces, I’m convinced that having dads and husbands that are in the mix of selflessly loving and caring for their families is a massive step towards overcoming a lot of it.

That’s it.

Pause and reflect is over. Let’s get on with the good tunes.

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