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Do you know where you’re going to?

You’ve probably heard it often, that you can be anything you want to be in this life. Of course, some things take a bit more than just wishing or acting.

Here’s the thing: I have no aspiration to become a bodybuilder. Not that I aspire to the opposite, mind you – couch potatoes aren’t sexy. However, the discipline and focus required to do those things appeals to me. (Bodybuilding, that is. Not couch potato.)

You see, you can quip all you like about the likes of Arnie and Dwayne Johnson, but the reality is that guys like that are – very seriously – in another league altogether when it comes to maintaining the kind of work ethic required to be at that level of physical condition.

The reality of getting to a certain destination is that it requires a fair amount of self sacrifice.

The idea of knowing where you are going to is linked to discipline, for me at this point anyway. As I’ve said previously when I went through what I called Rock Month, the word “discipline” – when I was younger – was generally associated with words like “punishment” and “correction”. Most kids thought “sore bum” or “feelings of separateness” when someone spoke about them “needing to be disciplined”.

Arnold Schwarzenegger.

“People say, ‘My God, you’re so disciplined.’ But it has nothing to do with discipline; I loved it. Because I knew that every time I went to the gym I was one step closer to winning the competition.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger

However, if you have a goal or a focus, discipline becomes a lot easier. It’s a way of training and shaping the trajectory of your life, rather than a punishing, as Arnie reckons: “Do you have to discipline yourself to have breakfast, lunch or dinner? Of course not; and so discipline – the usual concept of it – doesn’t apply here. I had to discipline myself to learn English, but never to train.”

So here’s the big question I’ve been asking myself recently: what’s the goal of my relationships in life? What kind of husband do I want to become? What kind of dad do I want to become? What kind of friend do I want to be?

The answers to those questions are deep-seated, and require a measure of training and discipline I have yet to master. Selflessness, sacrificial giving… a real love which is “poured out, used up, still giving and stretching me out to the end of my limits”, as TobyMac says.

So let me throw the question out to you, to answer for yourself: what are your relationship goals? And how are you going to get there?

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